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City Watch Armour: One Size Doesn't Fit Anyone by xofox City Watch Armour: One Size Doesn't Fit Anyone by xofox
An incomplete set of Ankh Morpork City Watch armour, noted in the Discworld books for it's "one size doesn't quite fit anyone" qualities. This was made partially for something goofy to wear to Allcon, partially to show off the new forearm brand, but mostly, just because it seemed fun at the time. The badge and the rosewood and silver truncheon have already been posting, but the rest is new (only started on Wednesday as a matter of fact. It's been fast work.) The breastplate was cold hammered out of an old car husk that I dragged out of the canyon. Man, I was out of breath after that. The cape is good, heavy leather, and can be buckled onto the breastplate or buckled to itself and worn separately. The studded leg armor is just a couple of old belts cut up with washers riveted on. And the clothes are just clothes I happened to have about. It still lacks a helmet, but gimme a break; I've only been doing this a couple of days! ;P

I enjoyed making this set; it was new, and the armor making was snazzy. I've left it intentionally pitted and, well, not rusted, but rust-stained. In fact, and I suppose amusingly, the inside is considerably more polished than the outside. I took an angle grinder to it for half an hour to make sure I wouldn't be ending up with brown stains all over my shirt. :) It's not comfortable, but it's been padded inside with more leather, and it can be worn without any real discomfort for long periods at a time. Although I do have a few bruises on my collarbones from early fittings before the neck was properly shaped. Strength-wise, I'd cheerfully let the average person take a swing at me with a lumber ax or sword; I know for a fact that I can't get through it with an ax, even when it's on the ground and I'm dealing it an overhead chop. Although, padding or not, I'd expect some bruising from the armour on my neck and hips. But it takes a good half minute to drill through; the metal seems surprisingly good for some scrap. (Woo, recycling!)

And fortunately I have two thirds of the car left, so I can make Benjamin a matching set. There's a WIP gallery and a expanded gallery offsite. Hyah!


Discworld belongs to Terry Pratchett.
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:iconklockbox:
Klockbox Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015
Pure epicness :)
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:iconookamikagegingetsu:
OokamiKageGinGetsu Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014
Most awesome.
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:iconstacieyates:
stacieyates Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013
Recycling at its best!
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well I certainly didn't want to spend money on scrap metal when it was just lying about. :P
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:iconjiznedar:
JizneDar Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013
Hats off!
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:icon0kamikiba:
0kamiKiba Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Student General Artist
hmmmm I guess I have yet another book series to read xD
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Start with his later stand alone stuff, like Monstrous Regiment or Going Postal, or I suppose Thief of Time isn't too tied into other books. Or of course, the City Watch subseries starts with Guards! Guards! and is my favorite series.
I'll be honest, if you start off with Colour of Magic it's very absurdist humour and he hasn't hammered out his world or his style yet.
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:icon0kamikiba:
0kamiKiba Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Student General Artist
xD I've just now heard of these books from you, so it'll take some tracking down to find them xD
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:iconfaehl:
Faehl Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Many Rincewind books in a row can be tiring...
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:iconstrangeanimal08:
strangeanimal08 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I just...can I just fangirl over how awesome this all is. Because this is brilliant.
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I am delighted that you would feel any desire to. :)
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:icontmoh:
TMOH Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so cool, and so incredibly book-accurate that I can hardly even wrap my mind around it. And you made this out of an old car? That's awesome!
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw thanks. Speaking of book Vimes, in the interest of verisimilitude it was raining tonight so I suited up and stood in a semi-sheltered spot for half an hour listening to jazz from Peanuts.
My rundown of the book Vimes is thus:
An leather cape rubbed in wax is awesome. Warm 100% dry, and of course wind proof.
On a cool, bu not cold night the breastplate is warmed by the body as fast as it is cooled. Wind proof, and makes a nice sound when rained on.
Knee breeches, not as cold or wet as expected. Would be better if I had had time to make them from leather too.
Leather half shoes/sandals with the rubber soles cut off and replaced with a very thin layer of cardboard: I have no idea what he sees in these. They were sticky, cold and wet through in ten minutes. Sure, i could feel the ground through them, but not in a nice way. Might be better on paving stones, after five hours continuous wear on asphalt they were very tattered in the bottom.
My head was wet, a helmet would be good.

In all, boots aside, pratchett has constructed a pretty serviceable outfit for walking a London-esque street. The man is a genius.
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:icondarthfury02:
darthfury02 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013
Blackboard Monitor Vimes, reporting for duty!
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Word killer! :pissed:
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:icondarthfury02:
darthfury02 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013
*claps the erasers together and gets chalk dust all over you*
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:iconladyjafaria:
LadyJafaria Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013
Now I want some armor for the Discworld convention, and I wasn't even going to cosplay a member of the Watch! This is awesome.
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome! Someone who's going to it. I must ask; I love discworld. I do. But the guild membership is crazy expensive. So from an outsider: is it worth it? Are the cons good enough to to draw me back repeatedly? Are they good enough to make me want to mass produce truncheons sculpture and woodwork luggages and sign on as a vendor. I'd just like to know if I'm going to drop $100 if I'll be back every year. :)
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:iconladyjafaria:
LadyJafaria Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013
This is my first one, so you'll have to ask someone else. The past few in the US have been too far away. Even Baltimore is pretty far away from me, but it's closer than the last one.
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:iconshiftingpath:
shiftingpath Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Frig it looks perfect!
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks; it's been fun work so far. :D
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:iconfaehl:
Faehl Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love how you made this out of a scrap of car dragged out of a canyon. That's pretty awesome to want to salvage and create. This is such a great costume! I can appreciate how you took time to bang up and dent the breast plate. Are you going to grime yourself up a bit? Unless you're Carrot you seem too clean. :p

What is that on your arm, by the way? Mine sign?
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Heh, I always seem to be walking the line between clean and filthy. Half the time I look like a chimneys weep from sawdust, but I clean myself up all the time too. I think I'd have to try to look grubby, but yeah, I should probably dash some street dust on my face to make it look right. Although I have a brother who would make a great Carrot, I need to make him a set of armour.
I had the summoning dark symbol branded on my forearm a couple of months ago. It needs a couple of clean up brands still but I've been waiting for it to heal up completely before branding again.
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:iconfaehl:
Faehl Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ouch... will you get a guarding dark to keep it in check?

Awesome! Looking forward to a Carrot costume. Would have to be pretty shiny, the contrasts would be interesting to see.
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I was thinking a guarding dark on the foot, given the whole Vimes/foot motif
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:icongrueler:
Grueler Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013
While on the subject, he look too healthy. He needs ten years drinking cheap booze and eating whatever crud is being sold by local street vendors in order to have the "city watch" look. (:
Oh, wait. Do they have street vendors where he lives? I guess he could eat jack in the box "hot mess", but that's only a temporary solution...
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:iconfaehl:
Faehl Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmm if he stayed up all night he could get a kind of haggard look. Breakfast at Macdonalds for that uncomfortable greasy feeling in the stomach. No Jack in the Box here, I'm not sure how it compares... Downside would be not enjoying the con so much. :p
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:iconmeikahidenori:
meikahidenori Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this has got to be one of the best discworld cosplays i've seen.
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, thanks. Glad you like it. :)
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:iconcatskind:
Catskind Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
LOL, thats great!
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Glad you like it :D
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:iconcatskind:
Catskind Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
I do.
Looks very closoe to the description in the book.
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw thanks. I realized a bit belatedly that I'm also very lacking in chainmail, but I don't think that's on my to-do list. ;)
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:iconmoon-crafter:
Moon-Crafter Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sweet
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:) thanks.
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:iconmoon-crafter:
Moon-Crafter Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you are quite welcome. I have all of the Discworld books and a few of his other works I have even made my husband a Pratchett lover. His world makes more sence. :D
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:iconaurakiss:
AuraKiss Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:thumbsup:
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
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:icontothe-moon:
ToThe-Moon Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Student
You sir, have done a fantastic job on this.
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. It was a lot of fun; I think I could get used to doing things like this. :)
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:iconesiewertjr:
esiewertjr Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That, my talented sir, is one of the coolest things I've seen in a while. Your versatility and creativity knows now bounds ;D. Awesome job on the set. You've got me even more excited for your future projects now :P
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Me too! Maybe I'll even stop procrastinating and do some of them! ;P
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:icongrueler:
Grueler Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
You, sir, are the most awesome cosplayer ever. Not even joking. You beat the guy who made a full iron man suit out of cardboard and the Venom/Mickey Mouse guy.
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, just hearing about those makes me want to hunt down some pictures.
Nah, I just really like making silly things. I'm sure there are people much worthier of the title. :D
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:iconinurantchan:
Inurantchan Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
Wow this is really awesome..I love the breastplate, cape and baton. Great job so far, can't wait to see the finished costume with helmet.
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:iconxofox:
xofox Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, thanks, those were my favorite bits too. :)
I'm intersted to see how/if I pull the helmet off with the tools I have.
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